Saturday, 9 March 2013

Bleeding Love...

Last night was great.  A 'proper' Rock Choir concert - with a paying audience, interval and refreshments!  We really know how to put on a show...
I'd been stupidly nervous beforehand.  Lots of loved ones in the audience and so many moves to remember.  I was downing the Rescue Remedy like there was no tomorrow. Not sure if it helped but it was either that or take up smoking.
Today's been a bit flat.  An anti-climax.  All those rehearsals, all that preparation and then, before you know it, it's over. I want to do it all again tonight and properly enjoy it this time.  It reminded me a bit of my acting days (way back when) except that last night we actually had an audience.  A three week run of Much Ado About Nothing up at the Edinburgh Festival was a fantastic experience all those years ago but performing three unabridged hours of Shakespeare to less people than there were cast members on a daily basis was a tad demoralising.  We kind of gave up a week in and ended up cancelling more performances that we actually gave.  I don't think we minded too much. We were young, permanently hung over and too busy checking out the latest up and coming comedy talent whilst downing cider out of plastic cups to waste too much time worrying about our own lack of theatrical success.
Last night's gig was for charity which made it feel particuarly special. I've been lucky enough to benefit from the support of Home-Start over the last few years and had prepared a five minute talk. It went okay, I think, though having my nearest and dearest taking up the entire front row didn't do much to steady my nerves.
I'd been worrying all week that my emotions would get the better of me. That sharing my 'story' in front of so many would have me blubbing into the microphone and leave the audience mortified, cringing and busying themselves with their mobile phones, not knowing where to look.
I was also fretting about the giant cold sore which had erupted on the corner of my lip earlier in the week and had started bleeding yesterday lunchtime. What spectacular timing.  The thought of pouring my heart out to three hundred strangers with blood dripping down my chin wasn't really helping my pre-performance mood.
I think I held it together. Just.  Had a bit of an out of body experience and actually felt strangely detached from the words I was reading which was probably no bad thing. And, I'm delighted to say, there was no blood. Yay. Talk over, I scuttled back to my place in the choir and the second half began.  'Anytime You Need A Friend', 'True Colours' and 'Proud'. We did good. There was a sprinkling of magic in the room last night and it felt great.  Long live Rock Choir.  And three cheers for super strength cold sore cream. 


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  2. Wow!! Just reading back over these and needed to.comment on this one. You done amazing and if you must know you had us all in tears. Was an amazing night and you were a true star. Just remember your an inspiration to people that know you with all that's happened and that's happening... Least its positive although some days are hard! The bubba's have no more daily nun-nights or frantic daily hunts for D's... We're getting there... Slowly with hard, crazy, moment madness where we all want to disappear and run for 5 minutes. Chin up and keep rocking with the choir.
    Lots of love
    Me.. Em...

    Think its only still you and I that call the bubba's babies